a kind of mourning and roller coaster that I didn’t expect

I’m reading a book called Bittersweet…

But I feel like I was living in my own life chapter titled Bittersweet during this last season…

One day I might share how it was bittersweet for us, for me. The season that basically saved my son but brought on more emotions- a kind of mourning and roller coaster that I didn’t expect. It might not be the nightmare someone else is living through but I’ve never wanted out of my own life more than the season we just walked through. I’ve never been angry with God but I was this time. I could point a finger at who had caused the pain I had walked through in my past but this time it wasn’t anyone’s fault. So I was angry with Him for not bringing healing or stopping it from happening. Because I never stopped believing He could.

Maybe one day I will share. I’m a pretty open book but I just don’t like going back to it and don’t know when I will have the time.

Anyways, just know it’s ok to mourn all kinds of things, it’s ok to be mad at God & wrestle with Him. He can handle it. That’s what relationship is- bringing everything. He’d rather you feel than walk away from Him. But at the end of it all, at my end in it all - there’s no Greater Hope. He could change it all in a second & didn’t in the way I saw best but He was still the only One who brought Hope.