A Book about the Book Esther

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I just finished reading a book about the book of Esther. And the author brings up this topic of "orphan spirit". I had no idea where this might go as I reflected on my personal life, opening my heart to the Holy Spirit for correction and healing. Well, it turns out I have a lot in common with Esther - in ways I didn't expect. Of course, I'd like to focus on the part where I'm a queen in some fashion haha. Isn't that every girl's dream? It's something Disney has kinda set us up for (JK). But I’m all seriousness, it took me back to some parts of my past I didn't expect.
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At the heart of it - our view of who we are & who God is, leaks into everything. I have deep fears of not being protected. Deep fears of not being able to protect Aviana. So deep it's often dormant and very difficult to see. But also, while being aware of the little amount of trauma I've experienced in my life, I want to do all I can to fight for the hurting. I often feel overwhelmed at the weight of the pain of the innocent.
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In this book, the author includes a handful of other things - being performance-oriented (major issue in my past), self- preservation & protection. I'm honestly not sure how it's showing in my life today (other than the fear I mentioned) because I have experienced a lot of healing but I felt I was supposed to sit on it a while & pray for insight.
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I'm so grateful for the chance to keep growing, keep healing, keep changing into who I've been meant to be.
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The devil isn't creative - he uses the same dirty deadly tricks. We must be vigilant, sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I crave His voice so much and I want to get rid of everything that stands in the way of walking out what I was meant to do for His glory.
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Keep going! Keep doing the work, it will never be in vain!