I did nothing to deserve this sweet little girl

It’s not a rare thought for me to think I did nothing to deserve this sweet little girl I have in my care. Dane and I talk about how unreal it is. How do we get to have her? I’ve dealt with fear around the thought that things are too good to be true with a little one like her and a husband I love so much.

When Dane and I first got married, I’d cry and feel fear so thick when he would leave for a week. I worried something would happen to him. When I was pregnant with Aviana I had moments I would deal with the same type of worry. When she was a newborn fear crept up again.

Some moments I feel overwhelmed by darkness and have to remind myself Who God is. Nothing but Who He is, is promised. And I have to trust He is good. It’s a terrible, toxic cycle to be in a real dream but to allow any thoughts to sabotage the sweet moments I have now. I try to catch them quickly because it all starts with what I allow to influence my mind. Our minds have so much strength, when aligned with God’s word, they’re powerful. We see clearer, with Heavenly vision when we focus on what never changes. We know Who wins in the end.